“Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
We all want love because the first thing that comes to mind when it’s in question is happiness. Although for some, this is true. What’s not being talked about is it not being perfect. Love is far from what we see in the movies. As a matter of fact, the real love we have in this world is actually full of problems, stress, and a lot of arguing – and it’s normal. Couples fight because of indifference and a lot of people often forget that. However, those arguments are what makes relationships better or stronger.
Are you really joyous with your partner? Do you think he/she is treating you fair?
But are you happy with your current relationship? What makes you think that both of you are enjoying? Do you argue more than you share happy moments with each other? In this article, we will try to detail what traits and factors there are in emotional a***e between two parties. Moreover, we will be giving few of the more common signs and warnings of emotional a***e in a relationship.
They try to threaten you in a discreet way
Physical a***e is when your partner hits you, throws you things, or physically hurt you whenever they’re not feeling good. But emotional a***e? It’s kind of more difficult to notice. Be keen with your partner; is he/she trying to threaten to leave the relationship then put the blame on you? Does your partner threaten to take his/her own life? These are the classic ways on subtly threatening your relationship so keep that in mind.
The best way to approach this is to try and talk to your partner. If your partner is willing to talk about it, fix the problem right away. Don’t go into circles with your partner; let them know how you feel and what you think the best course of action is.
People who a***e their partners make their partners doubt themselves
Having self-doubt is normal in fact, it’s healthy to doubt your own decisions and actions at times. However, if this is something that your partner uses against you, that’s a different concern. They will use your self-doubt to lie about something; they will use this against you and therefore, you’re trapped. Since you trust them, you won’t doubt them but you’d doubt yourself.
Since what they want is control over you and the relationship, they will do everything they can even mental torture just to have a grasp on your neck.
Are you hurt? Abusers will refuse to talk about it
Relationships are all about teamwork – working together hand-in-hand. If you’re noticing that you’re partner is not being a “partner” anymore, then maybe it’s time to reassess things. Although there would be times when your partner might “just” be busy, it’s still something you need to notice. A party in a relationship being bothered by something should never be gone out of hand. Every problem in a relationship, even separate, personal concerns should be brought up to avoid accumulation of fault and stress.
Try to talk to your partner about why they’re not interested to hear about your dilemmas anymore. If you notice that it’s something not relevant or valid, then they still want control over your emotions. How? Because you’re vulnerable.
There’s no empathy anymore
In connection with the previous point, they’re not emphatic with you anymore. You won’t be allowed to have problems since he/she’s already problematic; you won’t be allowed to be stressed since they’re stressed all the time. When you’re in dire need of support or empathy, your partner is absent and is nowhere to be found.
This is what makes cheating happen. Although it’s not right, this is what triggers most relationships to break. Since they’re not getting the right amount of attention and empathy, they would find it in another person and thus, keeping a strand off of the wall. You won’t be able to change that specific person; it comes naturally and out of realization and contempt.
You’re not part of “this” anymore
The worst thing that could happen is that your partner won’t be much of a “team” for you anymore. They make plans without you, they meet up with family members without you, they try to leave you out the door whenever necessary.
If you notice this in your relationship, then you’re most probably in a relationship that’s abusing you in a multitude of ways.
They try to keep you in a leash
Most abusers mistake this behavior for true and utmost “care.” While they think of it this way, this is actually control. Take all of the things mentioned above, compile them and when they’re apart from their partners, they want to know every inch of detail there is. If you try to think of it, it’s like you’re in a relationship with a robot.
Moreover, if after a fight, they try to treat it with “silent treatment,” or when you just got off of something you don’t both agree to, then it’s just them trying to control you like a pet.
There are people who aren’t used to be in serious, long-lasting relationships. On the other hand, there are people who were sick and tired of their previous relationships and wants a chance to be that kind of person as well. We don’t really know what’s with the world; what’s good is that you are now able to determine if the relationship you are in is abusive or not.
Everything can be properly solved and addressed through a conversation. Try to talk about it with your partner or have him visit a therapist. It’s not right to stay in a relationship like this because a***e is a***e; no matter what the case is, it’s still something that shouldn’t be done to everyone.